Foreplay Tips for Men: How to do it Right! by MsQuote!

I love this article found on MsQuote's website - Read up and enjoy!

Found here - http://agoodwomansdirtymind.com/foreplay-tips-for-men-how-to-do-it-right/

June 2, 2013

By MsQuote

Looking back on my past sexual experiences, I’ve sometimes been frustrated by men who really don’t know what they’re doing during foreplay or viewed it as an obligation to get to the good stuff.
Believe me, when a man can master and genuinely enjoy foreplay, sex is a magical and transcendent experience for both people involved. It goes beyond sex being a physical release. When foreplay and sex are really done right, it’s the most incredible high you’ll ever experience.
But even when my mind is horny as hell, my body may not be. I’m not unlike most women. It’s just the way women are physiologically wired.
I know what I like to get revved up. Generally, I like touches and kisses that start out very gentle and progressively get rougher and more aggressive. But even then, different situations and different moods might warrant kinkier techniques.
The best article I’ve read about how men can excel at foreplay was written back in March in Psychology Today’s All About Sex blog by Michael Castleman, Caressing Women: Advanced Erotic Tips For Men. The entire article is worth reading, but I wanted to mention some of the highlights and expand on some of what he has to say from a woman’s point of view.
Every Square Inch

Gently caress her everywhere else. Every square inch of the body is a sensual playground, and many women feel disappointed that so many men focus on only a few corners. Gently run your fingers through her hair. Slowly fondle her ears, her face, neck, shoulders, arms, the small of her back, her sides, the backs of her knees.

Erogenous zones are everywhere, not just the tits, pussy and ass. During a couples massage last year, I discovered that having the bottom of my scalp rubbed back and forth was a huge turn-on.
Plus, there’s another good reason why you don’t want to grab for the goods first. Wait until she moves your hand toward her breasts or between her legs, or better yet, wait until she says or begs that she wants you NOW. Not only will you really know that she’s ready for the next step, but a little stroke to your ego can’t hurt. Right?
“Coach Me”

As you caress her from scalp to toe, ask how she feels. It’s much easier to say that something feels good than bad. Don’t ask, “Does this feel good?” which might elicit a “No,” Instead, ask, “Would you prefer lighter touch here?” That way, “yes” is a request for an adjustment, and “no” means all’s well. Or try asking, “Would you prefer me to touch you somewhere else?” Or just invite her to tell you what she enjoys by saying, “Coach me.”

One of the first times I was with my lover, he did exactly what Castleman recommends. He ran his fingers lightly over the undersides of my arms and the back of my legs, which I loved, especially in the bend of my knees.
But sometimes women don’t know where or how they like to be touched and really can’t say when they’re asked. This is a great opportunity to just explore each other’s bodies, especially if the two of you have been fully satiated but not quite ready to go onto the second round.
In some cases, a woman may be embarrassed to say where or how she likes to be touched. When my lover and I had that exploratory session, I was embarrassed to say that I liked the way he ran his fingers over my armpits. Sometimes it takes time to establish a comfort level for some people to admit, “I like that.”
Ticklishness Means Discomfort

In lovemaking, ticklishness often means discomfort. Different women have different ticklish spots. But ticklishness may depend less on the spot than the way it’s touched. A finger tracing figure eights on a woman’s belly might feel ticklish, while a warm palm placed gently on the same area might not.

Tickling isn’t just torture; it’s a mood killer. It disrupts the clear-the-slate, out-of-mind experience you want your woman to be in to break free of her inhibitions.
The Subtle Art of Kissing

One type of erotic touch that rarely gets its due is kissing. “A kiss,” a wit once said, “can be a comma, period, question mark, or exclamation point.” Don’t just clamp your lips on a woman’s or thrust your tongue into her mouth. Kissing is a dance that involves constant interplay of lips, tongues, and moist warm breath. Brush her lips with yours. Gently nibble her lips. Run your tongue over her lips.

In my experience, those wet, sloppy and tonsil hockey kinds of kisses are rarely sexy. I’ve been kissed like this before and it feels like a rabid dog is trying to devour a water dish for the first time in three days. However, after you start out slow, get the tongues tangled suck hard on her lips. A little biting hurts, but only in the best way. Also, the pussy isn’t the only place where a woman likes to be licked. Kiss her all over and stop at places like her earlobe, armpit or belly button for a bit of tongue action.
Breast Play: The Best Way

In pornography, the men often maul women’s breasts, squeezing them roughly and pinching the nipples. Big mistake. Breasts and nipples are very sensitive. Be very gentle with them, especially nipples. Caress them lightly with your fingers, lips, and tongue. Once aroused, some women enjoy somewhat firmer nipple caresses, perhaps even pinching. Check in with her about when she likes what kind of nipple fondling.

The first sentence of this section is the most valuable piece of advice Castleman gives in his article. Most porn I’ve seen has some of the worst visual demos of how to turn a woman on. However, if she’s into rough play, wait until she’s warmed up and physically and mentally ready for some hardcore fucking. The same goes for spanking and other BDSM torture play. The pain-pleasure paradigm really doesn’t work at its best until her mind and body are freed with adequate foreplay.
Be Extra Gentle Down There

In porn, the men often pull at vaginal lips as though they’re opening a Zip-Loc plastic bag. Major mistake. The vaginal lips develop from the same cells that, in men, become the scrotum. Do you like your scrotum abused? Fondle her lower lips very gently. As women become sexually aroused, their lips open like flowers.
When initially caressing a woman’s external genitals (the vulva), try placing the palm of your palm between her legs, and pressing just a little, then invite the woman to dance on your hand, moving her hips in ways that stimulate her clitoris and give her pleasure. Once her outer and inner lips part, there’s plenty of time to caress, kiss, and lick her vulva and clitoris.
Be extra-gentle with the clitoris. The men in porn don’t spend much time caressing women’s pleasure organ, but when they do, they often go at it like parched dogs offered a bowl of water. Huge mistake. The clitoris has just as many touch-sensitive nerve endings as the head of the penis, but it’s only about one-tenth the size, so all those nerve endings are packed tightly together, and super-sensitive to touch. In fact, the clitoris is so sensitive that many women don’t like (or can’t stand) they clitoris being touched. They prefer caresses around it.

Castleman has lots of great advice in this passage, but I’d like to add three more things.
1. Don’t ever, ever, ever stick your finger inside of her like it’s an oil dipstick to see if she is ready. It’s definitely not a sexy move and it isn’t a good way to prime her pump, so to speak. Slow and gentle touches and licks are definitely the way to go. Also, while I can’t speak for other women, a quick nipple pinch can jump start her vagina to get well lubed.
2. Castleman is exactly right about the clitoris being extremely sensitive. However, he neglected to talk about oral techniques. Even if the clitoris is hard as a pebble, don’t gnaw on it like it’s a piece of beef jerky. When it’s hard, light, quick flicks with the tip of your tongue can send her spinning and screaming into orbit.
3. I have to partially disagree with what Castleman said about men in porn going down on a woman like parched dogs offered a bowl of water. When I’m really wet, I love the way my lover devours me. Seeing him in action with his face glistening with cum is a huge turn-on, too.
When it’s done right, foreplay should be just as exciting and enjoyable as intercourse, whether it’s slow and leisurely or a hardcore thrash fest. Either way, as my lover puts it, “It’s not the destination; it’s the journey.”

Introducing Miss Ava

Step into our world
Two wicked women
Provocative and persuasive
Tying, teasing, and torturing
Seeking your sweet surrender.   My good friend, Miss Ava, visits Seattle occasionally. She is a fiery-tressed vixen with an unusual penchant for naughty fellows who delight in the presence and discipline of a nubile kinkstress. I caught a snapshot of her, as I was conversing with a particularly chatty fella. She reminds me of a feline preparing to pounce.   And pounce she did.  That ball gag did the trick!

On another occasion I snapped a shot of her preparing to inject some lube into our 'patient', as we prepared him for a gender reassignment procedure.

I must say, she certainly enjoys CBT, if this shot gives any hint of what our willing victim is experiencing!

I'm hoping she may be a permanent fixture here in Seattle one day, but until then there are a few boys in town who are clamoring for her next visit.  Maybe you should find out why.....

An Erotic Story

 A Day For Madame

 I was chatting with M. Joy recently about how much fun we'd had last time we met, and mentioned that I thought it would be wonderful to set up a day where Joy could spend the whole afternoon/evening being taken care of by her friends, so she could just relax and bask in the attention.
Apparently this idea had great appeal for her, as only a few short days later, there I was, headed down to M. Joy's palatial country retreat, The Lark's Nest. She did not give me much idea what awaited me, until I was already en-route.
The scene she set: I was there to be interviewed for the position of her new man-servant, and expected to carry out my duties through a representative day at her estate, providing whatever ...services... she, her staff, and her visitors might require.
Throughout the afternoon, many of M. Joy's friends and associates came and went, and I zealously attended to M'Lady's unique and powerful needs, as well as those of her guests. It was very much an Downton Abbey-Upstairs/Downstairs feel, but with a *much* more kinky and...direct...vibe :-)
Her friends were wonderful to meet: the lovely kinky-and-firm lady "friend" of M. Joy's, the high-spirited couple that were the estate's butler and cook, and the wicked young Lady.
The day culminated with a very kinky dinner party. The food prepared by the estate's chef was perhaps the best meal I've eaten in Seattle, but it was the company that made the evening.
I pray I secured the position at The Lark's Nest, because it was terribly great and challenging fun to work there, if only for a day. And so very...educational.
---------------------
Joy - thank you so much for the creativity and effort you and your friends put into this elaborate scene. I was floored - much of the day went in surprising directions I'd not thought I had much interest in before, and you all made it work, and then some! Well played!  You are a world-class lady who enjoys play far outside the mundane, you stun me with your energy, intellect, and skill.

An Erotic Story

 A Willing Sacrifice

 

Some months ago, I sent Joy a teasing note about a rather wicked waking dream involving sacred rituals I'd had concerning her, while walking through the fog in the mountains as Spring was trying to manifest itself. Joy and I share many interests in this realm, I find her, well, a Joy to discuss these things with.

She received my ideas with great enthusiasm, and encouraged me to visit Seattle to try something similar for real.

Well, April was finally looking like Spring for real, and it was her Birthday Month, and we finally managed to arrange to get together the other day.

It was....magnificent.

We started out meeting at her lovely spiritual retreat and sitting down to a great Thai feast for lunch, while we discussed some of the particulars of the upcoming day. We both wanted to be clear on limits and concerns, but not give away too many secrets ahead of time to spoil the scene, because some perhaps-extreme-or-troublesome events might be occuring throughout the day. Joy did a great job communicating without spilling the beans.

After lunch, I showered and cleaned up, while Joy set the stage. When I exited my assigned room, I was abducted by The Earth Goddess, who led me....elsewhere....to be examined. I was found to be far too beastly and base to be of much use, so some training and conditioning were attempted by The Goddess. The Goddess used tools of the Earth for the most part, very creatively and effectively.

Somewhat subdued, I was led to the Goddess's bath chamber, to help prepare her for the arrival of The God Of All. Cleaning and annointing and dressing the most wonderful creature. Then to the Goddess' bed chamber, where I waited until He arrived. I then, as instructed, brought refreshments to my Sacred Ones, and they rested a bit, as they prepared...

The Goddess mentioned that I *might* be trainable, though I was still so very feral and low. It was suggested that if I were to observe the Gods pleasuring each other, I might learn what was expected of me, and how far I had to travel.

And so, bound by the will of the Gods, and the Goddess' snares, I watched as these two powerful beings made wild, passionate, violent love to each other.

After seemingly endless hours had passed (the Gods seem to have immense stamina), the two decided that perhaps I should participate. And so, for some time more, the three of us played together, God, Goddess, and mere beast.

Finally, The God of All had to depart, leaving only the Goddess and myself. I was informed that I *might* be suitable for A Higher Purpose, but that I'd have to pass through the mortal barrier, and be reborn.

And so, for a bit, the Goddess and I celebrated what might be to come, in my last moments as a living beast.

And then, slowly and methodically, the Goddess slew me with her desires. I had no fear at last, only welcoming her final embrace.

And once I had passed on, she buried me, in a deep dark place. And all was nothing.

Some time later, I was reborn.

And then we celebrated, endlessly.

Fine.

--------------------------
I was frankly stunned by the experience. Joy firmly rooted me into the scene as soon as she held my hand and looked fiercely into my eyes as we began after lunch. She set the entire day (lunch through dinnertime) to various musical compositions we both enjoy, matching the mood and the pace of the activities with the composition. Our final set of scenes was set to Mahler's Symphony #2, the Resurrection Symphony, each phase matching near flawlessly the five movements of the piece. The final bit of the 5th movement, about which Mahler said "The increasing tension, working up to the final climax, is so tremendous that I don’t know myself, now that it is over, how I ever came to write it.", was insane, I was fearful one or the other of us would perish :-)

The amount of thought and planning she put into this was incredible. The different moods and emotions she produced in us all was masterful. Sound, and scent, and touch, and taste, and sight were all used to great effect to set and maintain the scene. At times I was completely in our dream world, at times I'd come out as we shared laughs and checked in to make sure folks were surviving the events. I think we all experienced "the little death" countless times. I learned many new things about myself and my play partners throughout the day as well, which is always a plus. And I came away with lots of ideas for further adventures.

I left, after this lengthy period of play, not tired out, but truly energized, as if I *had* been reborn. I have to admit, a few hours later, I crashed totally from exhaustion, and slept the sleep of the dead :-)

Happy Birthday, Joy!

And my greatest thanks for an amazing production! You were right, I'll never view Spring the same way again, my dear Erda.

An Erotic Story

M'Lady Teases and Pleases

How does one describe an experience like Miss J.F.!
Ecstasy on steroids, no... that would be pale in comparison to her sensual, seductive nature. When meeting her you are swept away by her warmth and truly personal expressions. What one imagines is a reality that transcends you into a place of true sensual bliss and anticipation...
Joy knows how to tease and please, whilst taking you to the next level of expectation. Ever so much dost she administer her pleasure to ones desire all the while ensuring ones desire grows. A true blissful experience unfolds.
Wearing a body stocking of fishnet. Voice and hands so commanding yet gentle... seductive... and every so enticing... commanding and firm.
Senses tingling with anticipation... the warmth of her hands, the music, the instruments she plays upon your body... as you float in and out... bliss and more!
Ah the fanciful delights of ones mind blindfolded and wondering, wandering into an experience of true mischievous pleasure.

This was my fantasy or my reality? Either way highly recommended for all to enjoy.
Always my Lady, always. *bows and kisses thy hand til next we meet.