An Element of Surprise

28 Ways to be a Better Lover

A month long celebration of love, romance, and spicy connections.

Day 3 - Undress your lover - s l o w l y

I always love undressing my lovers.  It's that element of surprise, like unwrapping a present.  Peeling back layer upon layer and finding bare skin, softly caressing each little patch exposed to my eyes, and noting how their body responds, watching their face flicker with pleasure as they feel my hot breath on their bare skin.  It's as if they don't want me to catch them enjoying this oft forgotten act of intimacy.  Most of my lovers strip off their clothes casually, tossing them aside while reaching at me eagerly to 'get it on'. 

That's not to say that spontaneous combustion like the picture below isn't EXCITING!

It IS!  It WAS!

But, back to my seductive plan.  I do love a subtle approach.  

You may notice that S L O W E R is a part of my daily mantra.  

And so, when I've gotten halfway through removing my lover's clothes, and I notice them grinning from ear to ear, perhaps eyes closed, moaning or groaning, and a bit wet as well, I know I've been successful.

I have one lover who loves to surprise me from time to time, and the last time I got ready to peel off his whitey tighties, his eyes twinkled as he said, "I have a surprise for you!"  As I cautiously pulled back the band at the top, decorative gel hearts cascaded to the floor.  His briefs were overflowing with love (lust) for me!  What fun and what a great surprise.

I occasionally will have a surprise for my lover to discover beneath my clothes, but only if I know it will be appreciated.  I love beautiful lingerie and sexy fripperies, but there are many who just want to get it off and don't notice it.  By the way, I'll write more about those seductive underthings in another post to come during the 28 Ways (Days) to be a Better Lover.   In the meantime, if I could just convince my lover to go slower and give me the same opportunity to savor being unwrapped.  I suggest more practice....practice undressing a woman carefully, gracefully, seductively, showing you appreciate her with each layer you remove, and see how ready she is for you!

S L O W D O W N !

Fact:  I am hugely multi-orgasmic.  Ridiculously so.  I won't give away all my secrets, just trust me when I say this!

BUT

....only when I am with a partner who is willing to  G o   S  l  o  w  !

My experience:  younger fellows want to 'go fast', older fellows think it should be like what they see on internet porn - 'flick flick flick'

SIGH

May I say "No No noooo"?

There is a wonderful gentleman who met me within the past year through Domina Victoria Rage, who says -  
Joy is a wonderful lady who is one of the most sexually sensitive and demanding people I have had the privilege to meet, and who is also a great student (and self-aware teacher) of the orgasm process.   The two of us now enjoy playing together, well, endlessly, and I've thanked Ms. Rage dozens of times for forcing us into the same room one fine day so long ago :-)   It is tremendously educational, and improves my own understanding and ability, in addition to being good clean fun for the both of us.  You need top-notch training partners to advance your own level of skill.

And in order for us to relax and experience fully, this song comes to mind!

Julie London has quite the seductive way. 

And when you are slow and still...

I explode!